This is Louise’s story of her healing third birth at home.
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I want to share how my story in the hope that what I have overcome could become part of somebody else’s survival guide. It inspired me to write about my journey of how I overcame birth trauma with my first baby and went on, 8 years later to birth my 3rd baby naturally at home.
Nine years ago I had my first baby. I had planned to have a natural water birth, but at 38 weeks I developed what is known as HELLP Syndrome, a rare complication in pregnancy that can lead to death, either of baby or Mum.
As a result of the HELLP Syndrome I ended up being induced early, still hoping for my vaginal birth. However, after a fruitless 12 hours of labour, and the decline of my physical health, I was rushed off for an emergency Cesarean section under a general anaesthetic. I acted like everything was fine but I carried the weight of this traumatic for years, and even after the successful natural birth of my second son 2 years later, it wasn’t enough to shake the guilt and depression I still had looming over me from my 1st birth, Ayden’s birth.
Last year I fell pregnant again. I knew, via an intuitive dream, that I would be having, or at least, planning, a home birth. I consider myself to be quite a ‘crunchy’ mum, I am a *homeopath, we never see a doctor. I love all things natural etc… so I just thought “yeah, I’m going to have a homebirth obviously, because I’m crunchy AF… of course!” Ha! How I laugh at my ignorance now.
My homebirth was my biggest transformation to date. I healed parts of myself that were still stuck in Ayden’s birth that I didn’t even realise were still there. I healed childhood trauma that is not even in my conscious memory. I learned more about birth and my body than I ever knew before (seriously I went to antenatal in my first pregnancy really only for the tea, biscuits and new friends!). I overcame fear and doubt and I fully owned and embraced my body’s capacity to birth my baby naturally at home.
I knew that I needed to do this, not because I wanted a natural birth for my baby (I wanted that too), but because I wanted to feel grounded in and connected to my body, a feeling that I was a stranger to. I wanted to feel strong and empowered to birth my way, even when I knew that if I walked into a hospital and asked for a c-section they would more than happily give me one. I wanted to feel the experience of an empowering birth to help me heal from my traumatic one, and I want to use my story of birth, growth and transformation to inspire others to be able to do the same xx
I also want to add that I sought healing through a homeopath, and that is what lead me to become a homeopath myself… Healing is a journey that never seems to have an end point, we are always learning and growing, and while I can see (and i’ve had lots of help to realise this) what possibly lead to my traumatic birth in the first place, I don’t look back now in despair, guilt or regret, I look back in gratitude for the path that it put me on and the person that I have evolved in to because of it.
Thank you Louise x
You can find more about Louise on her website.
*please note that Unfold your Wings does not endorse any particular therapy used by those sharing their story.