This is the story of Lauren a beautiful mum, who wanted to share her story about her experience of birth trauma. Lauren’s story shows that communication is so important as is the care that women receive. In birth women can be left feeling lonely and vulnerable.
Please be aware that some stories may trigger difficult memories and emotions so remember your own self care as everyone will be at different stages of healing.
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After suddenly being forced into an induction and told I had ‘no options,’ my husband was sent home and I endured a lonely, frightening and painful night with prostin pains. The midwives ‘forgot’ about me, even when the rest of the ward was empty.
Next day on the labour ward I was not given the support I expected by midwives, information regarding the birth was concealed from us, I was laughed at, belittled, made to lie on my back as the sister pushed my legs towards my chest and examined by the doctor without my consent or prior warning.
Suddenly they decided that my ‘time pushing was up’ and I was rushed to theatre. Before my husband arrived, and before I had been made aware of what procedure they had decided to perform, they had already performed an episiotomy and inserted forceps. The surgeon nearly pulled me off the table. I thought he would tear me in half or kill my baby and as they yelled at me to push I was clinging to the edge of the table to avoid being pulled off.
When he was born, I felt no emotion. His cord was cut and he was taken away from me and brought back clean and wrapped up. After only a few minutes to look at him, my husband was instructed to leave with the baby and I was left completely alone, trying to snatch pieces of information as the surgeon instructed the doctor as they stitched me up.
At first I was deemed ‘too weak’ to breastfeed right away or hold my baby but only a few hours later was scolded for not having been out of bed yet and treated harshly by midwives when I asked for support when learning to breastfeed.
9 months after the birth of my baby, I am still struggling to accept how I was treated. Every day I have intense flashbacks, grapple with my anger towards the medical professionals involved and question how I could have avoided the experience and if it has affected my relationship with my wonderful little son. My husband tries to support me as best as he can but everyone else tells me that I should just get over it and be thankful I have a healthy baby.